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Can someone who usually doesn't "do" monogamy feel fulfilled in a "closed" relationship?

Can it work out, or will they just slowly grow to resent me for this?

It is early days yet, and we’re old enough to be sensible, but we both have strong feelings and see a real possibility of this going the long-term.

He is a straight cisgender man, and I am, as yet, undisclosed.

I met a nice lady through the normal methods, and we hit it off and have grown closer. Could you see yourself making an exception for her dick?

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By "stop trying" I don't mean you should stop making an effort to be a better person or a more loving partner — we should all constantly strive to be better people and more loving partners — but you can't spend the rest of your life on a therapist's couch. If you truly make your husband miserable, he should leave you.

And remember: What works for you as a couple — and what you want as an individual — can change over time. We have been together for twelve years, and we were married for eight years before getting divorced last year. We reconciled four months after the divorce, despite the affair I had.

I have a history of self-sabotage, but in my relationship with him, it has become near constant.

They said that's not usually what they're into but they weren't interested in seeing anyone else and they had no problem being monogamous.

It's not that I don't trust them, and they've never given any indication that they're unhappy with our arrangement, but I can't shake the fears that, though they won't admit it (maybe even to themselves), they'd prefer it if our relationship were more open and I'm taking something important away from them.


  1. Anecdotally, there are several of us who, as trans women, have been able to successfully date cisgender women and to build successful relationships with them.

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