So, aside from being the “bigger man” in the situation, and in spite of any feelings your guy might have towards his ex, you have to be cool so she isn’t interfering with your relationship (and yes, even unknowingly being talked about behind her back is a form of inadvertently interfering in your relationship).
The best advice I can give you when dating a divorced dad is to wait a while before meeting his kids.
Still, dating a guy who’s been divorced, just like dating a woman who’s been divorced, does come with a certain amount of baggage.
As a double divorcee, I can tell you that yes, there were times I made a lousy spouse, but there were times I was the perfect wife! My mother always says, “One man’s trash is another man’s treasure,” or, more delicately, just because he wasn’t right for one woman, doesn’t mean he isn’t perfect for you!
My point is, you will be the enemy for a good long while, so enjoy NOT meeting the kids for as long as possible.
Speaking of kids, it’s important not to try too hard when you meet his children.
Don’t meet the kids right away; give the relationship with you and your guy time to bloom first.
Most divorcees come with miniature versions of themselves. Here are these little people with half your man’s DNA. His kids might look like him, but they’re still their own little people, and those people have feelings.